If you read, you'll judge.

I want to let go of everything and just live. I want to be alive.

Do you ever question why you do the things you do? Do you ever wonder “What if?” I do. And its eating me alive. And sometimes even when I’m so happy, everything stops, and I’ve somehow lost all of my good vibes. And sometimes they don’t come back. No matter how hard anyone tries. No matter how much Sean tires. And no matter how much I try. Its like this never ending cycle.

From this second on, I promise that I can overcome whatever gets in my way. I promise to keep my chin up… no matter what. I’ve came this fucking far, might as well make the best out of everything I can.

Dearest Evan,

I’ve never met you but I know you. I’ve never seen you face-to-face but I feel you everyday. I’ve never heard your laugh or seen your smile but I love you beyond words can describe. Sometimes I find myself so stuck with Sean; I find myself over-analyzing every little detail about him that I get so paranoid and scared. But than I think of you. And I ask you what’s right. Your the light in the window that wakes us up in the morning. Your the little voice inside my head that says, “Look how much he loves you.” Your his guardian angel tattooed on his shoulder that I kiss so much. Your the feeling I get the second I look at him- no matter how mad or upset - and already forgiven him in my heart. Your the moon that brings so much happiness and love into our relationship. Your everything. We’ve never met but I know you. We’ve never made eye contact but we talk all the time. I’ve never hugged you but I feel your arms around us everyday. I couldn’t be more thankful for everything Evan. As crazy as it sounds, I know you were the one who brought us together. I know that you’ll never let us go anywhere without each other. The first time I told Sean I loved him on November 3rd, I said: “I love you to the moon and back.” And the first time he ever brought me to your grave, I saw the sign that says: “I love you to the moon and back.” To others, it might be a considence. But I know for a fact that it was you who showed us what real love is like. I think of you all the time Evan. I pray to you and thank you with all my heart to send someone like Sean in my direction. I couldn’t be more happier to call him mine. We’ve never met but you’ve already taught me so much. I love you so much. Please keep us strong Evan. Help us keep our relationship brick strong. Forever. Love, Casey xo

- “I get lost in the beauty of everything I see. The world ain’t as half as bad as they paint it to be. If all the sons, if all the daughters stopped to take it in…Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin.”

- “I get lost in the beauty of everything I see. The world ain’t as half as bad as they paint it to be. If all the sons, if all the daughters stopped to take it in…
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin.”

Anonymous asked: saw yaa smokin a J in a car after school? ;)hehehe

Muwahahaha! ;) It’s the only way I can relieve the stress.

buryyourflames asked: everyone tells you this, but i love all of the things you write. I bet you are a really strong person.

Aw thank you, that means alot. :)

Okay I Said

It’s not that I don’t like writing anymore… I just can never find the real time to sit down and let my mind go. I miss that feeling. That feeling I get after I write something and actually like it is so amazing. No words can compare to how I feel sometimes. These past few weeks I have been keeping everything inside. I need to sit down and write.

Anonymous asked: So i randomly happened upon your page and i enjoy everything you write. You should really try writing poetry or music or a book. What you write already has a poetic/lyrical quality to it, and its compelling enough to be a book itself. Just thought i should letcha know :)

thank you so much that means the world to me, you really have no idea. that feeling i get when someone tellls me something positive about my writing it makes me feel so good about myself. thank youu xo :)

Anonymous asked: why is your outer appearance so diffrent from all of this

I don’t know how to answer this. How does this apply to me?.. It applies to everyone basically.

Anonymous asked: Not only do I love your blog ( heh found it ) but I also am secretly infatuated with you. K. here we go I got this idea from a spam msg I received on Facebook lol.. I know you like me but were always way too shy to say so :3 go hit up crushmasher(dót)com (uhh it wont let me do a regular link) then make an acct there. Search for the profile 'justmeandu33' ( obv me ) I posted body pix.. if u can figure out who I am msg me and we'll kick it. CC required for age but it is free. (annoying i know)

Wow! I don’t think I’d ever go on some website and do that… im sorry that’s not my style. But thanks about the first part :)

To the moon and back

Two weeks. That’s all it took for me to fall in love with you, and to let myself be contempt with the fact that it took so long to wait for you but now you’re here and you’re finally mine. I have spend far too many years trying to out run this thing called love and now that I received everything i’ve dreamt for, I don’t ever want to move from this spot. I didn’t think it was possible for us but after talking about everything and anything, just spending everyday together, never letting each other go, I realized it was possible. I gave a four month “talking” relationship up for you and though it was hard, I don’t regret a single move. Because every move I’ve made these past 2 weeks was for you. And I promise that’s how it’ll always be. You have my heart beating so fast for you and i’m so excited to see where we let ourselves go. This is a dream I never want to wake up from, a dream where I could sleep forever but feel so alive at the same time. I didn’t believe in perfect until I kissed you… never believed in love until I felt it for you… never thought that both your actions and words can show so much in you. I never want to lose you my baby, I sware that you’re all I need in this life.

- Hello Alice I’ve never seen you this fucked up before. 

- Hello Alice I’ve never seen you this fucked up before. 

Anonymous asked: okaay sooooo, this is really akward for me to ask cause we dont know each other but i am going to analisa montenaro's party saturday and i heard you went to the last one so i was wondering if you were going to this one cause i would like to like, meet you ahhaha. sorry if it sounds weird.

Hahaha no it’s all good. I might go to another party but maybe I’ll be there. Im not really sure yet! But if I go I’ll see you there.. though I don’t really know who you are. You better introduce yourself and tell me this was you!! 

- All I used to write about was you. All I used to wish for and dream for was you. I wanted you back beyond belief, beyond the stars, and beyond the galaxies yet to be discovered. When you left for rehab I told you everything. Everything about how much I loved you and how much I missed you. And now that I’ve told you nothing but the truth, I’m finally ready to let you go. It hurt so much to say it to you, to tell you that we shouldn’t be friends and that we shouldn’t talk anymore but I had to do this. I had to do this for myself because holding onto you was holding me back from sincere happiness. Now that it’s officially and finally and sadly over, I know that what we once had was the real thing and how people still tell me today that we should of stayed together makes me realize that you helped shape me into the person I am today; I couldn’t be more grateful. I’ve become so fucking independent it’s really unbelievable. You showed me so much, so so much. What it was like to fall in love again, what it was like to grow up and let you go.  I’ll love you forever… but forever isn’t long enough. I promise you that there will always be a huge part for you in my life, in my heart, in my mind. I could never forget you, I will forget you, and I will never forget all of our memories. This is goodbye for us now but I’ll see you later in the future. 

- All I used to write about was you. All I used to wish for and dream for was you. I wanted you back beyond belief, beyond the stars, and beyond the galaxies yet to be discovered.

When you left for rehab I told you everything. Everything about how much I loved you and how much I missed you. And now that I’ve told you nothing but the truth, I’m finally ready to let you go. It hurt so much to say it to you, to tell you that we shouldn’t be friends and that we shouldn’t talk anymore but I had to do this. I had to do this for myself because holding onto you was holding me back from sincere happiness. Now that it’s officially and finally and sadly over, I know that what we once had was the real thing and how people still tell me today that we should of stayed together makes me realize that you helped shape me into the person I am today; I couldn’t be more grateful. I’ve become so fucking independent it’s really unbelievable. You showed me so much, so so much. What it was like to fall in love again, what it was like to grow up and let you go. 

I’ll love you forever… but forever isn’t long enough. I promise you that there will always be a huge part for you in my life, in my heart, in my mind. I could never forget you, I will forget you, and I will never forget all of our memories. This is goodbye for us now but I’ll see you later in the future.